My Paris visa has been granted, I have paid for my tuition and my accommodation. I have purchased my forex. I am officially on my way. What has been a year in the making is finally coming to fruition. I should be more excited. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited but I’m also nervous. I’ve never done anything of this magnitude before and that scares me a little. I have recently come to the realisation that this is a very good thing! It means I am moving out of my comfort zone–you know, that place where dreams go to die–and I am harnessing my talents and putting to good use my resources. I am on what even now feels like the cusp of a life changing event.
For anyone, this is big. It may not be big like changing a country’s constitution or orchestrating a merger between two blue chip companies but this is big for me. Too long I have been sitting on the sidelines watching other people achieve greatness. I am not saying that I will achieve greatness necessarily but I will achieve greatness in my life. This is big, for me.
I have spoken before of my–I would not say crippling or debilitating but suffice it to say they are big–self doubt and insecurity issues and how they have prevented me from doing things I was afraid I would not be very good at. I have been working on these issues for the last two years and this is the first big thing, since my new approach to myself, that I’ve put into motion that is really going to challenge me.
I have never lived outside of South Africa like so many of my peers have. I have quit my job to be able to undertake this great adventure and have given up my apartment. So technically I’m homeless and unsettling as this has been I have been able to recognise that this is a means to an end and that it does not serve me to get too wrapped up in the loss of some security. Being the person I am, security in my life is a big thing. Giving up some of this security has also been liberating. It has also been exhilarating and for the first time in what feels like a long time, I am excited.
I am excited to see and experience and do new things, learn a new language and embrace all the beauty that Paris and the French culture has to offer! In less than a month I will be living my dream and that is something very few people get to do and for that I am thankful. I am also thankful for every person who has supported me in my decision to do this, who helped me believe in myself and who gave me the courage to take the leap.
Thank you for reading.