Well, Christmas is over and we are on the cusp of a new year and a new Parisienne adventure. I have spoken of being both very apprehensive and excited about the coming weeks and what they mean to me.
Mr M and I had a wonderful quiet evening, post Christmas lunch with my father and then late afternoon dessert and coffee with his family. We had the chance to sit quietly, drink in hand and talk. Amidst the cool breeze of the evening, staring at stars with rustling trees and croaking bullfrogs as our soundtrack. It’s these moments that remind me how far I’ve come on my own journey. It reminds me of a saying I heard not so long ago;
“The reason people give up is because they focus on how far they have to go instead of how far they have come.”
This resonated with me on so many levels. My inherent fear of failure preventing me from doing what I should be quite capable of, the crippling insecurities forged in the pit of junior school at the hands of my peers and my often negative and highly self critical nature. I believe it’s vital to put markers up to measure your progress and use it as a motivator to encourage you towards your end goal. Without these it’s far too easy to stare at, what will surely seem like, a long and difficult road. Another thing we need to stop doing is comparing ourselves to others. We each have a very unique path that we need to walk and you may well find it useful to use someone else’s success story as a motivator but that can quickly become a source of negativity if you experience setbacks–which let’s face it, are a natural ingredient to everything in life–and see yourself as not measuring up.
So back to the graphic on this post, while I’ve been one part anxiety and one part excitement regarding this upcoming trip, I am also inspired. I am inspired to learn, do more self exploration and put myself in situations which challenge me. Let’s face it, unless you’re being challenged, you’re not growing and you’re not learning and if you’re not learning, you may as well be dead.
As unsettled as I am, this process of disentangling myself from conventional day to day securities and putting it all on the line, so to speak, has been the most liberating time of my life. Truth be told, the shedding of the unnecessary baggage started with the divorce and the last two and a half years have been the most amazing years of my life. I have also realised as I sit and write this that I didn’t even remember that it would have been my 6th anniversary on December 8th. The anniversary of my divorce won’t go by as unnoticed but only because that day is now a day of celebration and a marker of everything I’ve accomplished up to this point.
I feel like I’m on the cusp of something amazing. One of those great markers in your life that you get to look back on and realise just how far you’ve come. I will be putting, once and for all, past hurts, setbacks and disappointments to rest. We all reach that point where we have to put things down simply because they are heavy.
So as 2013 draws to a close, take with you only what you need. The key is to travel light. Use what you need and discard the rest. The empty friendships, the people who take more than they give. The things in your head that you believe you need but which in fact are just keeping you from moving forward.
To everyone who reads this blog, thank you. Thank you for being there to read it and to inspire me to keep writing. I wish you all the very best for 2014. May it be a year of blessings and happiness, enough trials to keep you humble and enough pain to remind you what is truly important in life. Through it all, know that there is a time for every event under heaven.
Thank you for reading.